On Monday morning, I began the drive from McKinleyville back to Hollywood. It took me 14 hours or so, with only one major detour (I just had to check out Confusion Hill). After I rolled in, I got some ox tail pho at good ol' Pho2000. Yesterday, I took a walk around the neighborhood, talked to a guy about jobs in film distribution, roasted a chicken, had a gin & tonic, and went to bed.
In the past few days, I have felt better than I have in a long time. Maybe it is all of the positive thinking I have been doing, or the movement toward a new goal. My friend Scott mentioned that I was in a period of my life astrologers refer to as "Saturn's Return," a difficult growth period where you finally become more of an adult. I still have a few more months to go here, but my 28-30 period has been marked with change, questioning, difficulty, and growth. I am trying to be more lucid as well, and to not get distracted by the small things.
For instance, I was sitting in traffic on Highland, listening to K-JAZZ. Instead of saying, fuck fuck I am stuck in traffic, I was trying to soak in the moment. It was so easy for me to obsess about one small thing that wasn't going right and let it ruin my life. I had a bad attitude. I moved to Humboldt to sort everything out and while nothing seemed to work out the entire time I was there, the experience was positive for me in the long run.
The job and the place to live will fall into place as long as I have faith in myself and God. It is so easy to let the negative voice in my head tell me that everything is messed up, but I just have to relax...